My policy on YouTube quality settings is very simple: If it decides to play videos at a reasonable default resolution like 720p, then I’ll gladly leave it alone, but if chooses something bad like 480p, then I’m cranking that dial up to at least 1080p in response.

If you’re going to use “social” as a noun, could you at least dignify it with the prefix “ice cream”?

Retailer: This product only ships with a minimum order.

Me: Oh that’s cool; I get it. Shipping overhead, am I right? Here, I needed to restock this other thing too. Now you can ship them together!

Retailer: Thanks for your order! We’re going to ship these separately to get to you faster.

A dark and stormy night, a gathering of various minor celebrities, professionals, and family members, an eccentric millionaire who has invited them all to his secluded home, a power outage. But instead of a murder to solve, there are dinosaurs. In this essay I will

One of my elder millennial powers is that I can, if necessary, call places on the telephone to conduct business.

I’ve been watching reruns of sumo matches and it’s interesting to me how similar it is to fencing matches:

• Long setup
• Matches that are over almost immediately
• People waiting patiently in the stands for something to happen

Thinking about how I like basic 2d platformer Kirby games enough that I would buy them sight unseen, but in practice I end up checking trailers/reviews/demos anyway to make sure they are actually just A Kirby Game and not A Kirby Game With A Weird Gimmick or A Co-op Kirby Game or A Completely Different Genre Game Starring Kirby.

On some emotional level I’m still convinced that an Iomega Jaz drive would solve all my computing woes, and unfortunately there’s no amount of USB flash storage that will help with that.

Did mixed nuts ever actually come in cans that looked like the ones full of spring-loaded snakes?

I realize I have the privilege of not needing to market my online presence, but I don't want a new “global town square.” I've spent the past decade feeling a little stressed by the idea of being in the town square. I want to go to the park and watch the birds and play with the dogs.